When the Sidelines Spill Online: A Lacrosse Coach’s Guide to Social Media Shenanigans
Ah, youth sports. The battlefield of dreams where kids chase glory and parents armchair-coach from the bleachers—or worse, from their phones. Social media has become the modern Colosseum where lacrosse parents wield their grievances with the subtlety of a drunk uncle at Thanksgiving. For the coach, these posts are the equivalent of dodging high heat while holding a stale beer: messy, unnecessary, and entirely avoidable if we all just stuck to some ground rules. But we don’t, and here we are.
So, coach, let’s talk about surviving the minefield of parental social media warfare.
The Setup: The Post That Pings
You’re scrolling through your feed, maybe looking for that video of a perfect behind-the-back shot to show your midfielders, when it hits you: “So disappointed my kid didn’t get the playing time they deserved today. Politics in youth sports are killing the game.” It's followed by 57 likes, 12 angry comments, and an emoji cocktail of outrage. You feel it in your gut—a mix of indignation, dread, and the creeping awareness that practice tomorrow might feel like crossing enemy lines.
Step one? Don’t engage. Not yet, anyway. Like any good dodge on the field, your first move is to avoid running straight into the hit. You’re a coach, not a gladiator, and this isn’t your arena.
The Pep Talk: Know Your Team
Before you even pick up your phone, remember your mission. You’re here to teach kids about the game—and maybe a little about life. The parents are, ideally, your allies in this, but some will be less supportive than others. Recognize this truth early and often: everyone’s a fan of your decisions until their kid is on the bench.
Keep your focus on the players. When they know you’re invested in their growth, the noise from the sidelines matters less. Build trust with them, and you’ll have a much stronger foundation when their parents start tweeting like it’s the World Series of Drama.
The Play: How to Respond
When you do decide to engage, go for the high road—not because you’re better than the pettiness, but because wallowing in it wastes the precious energy you could spend plotting next weekend’s zone defense.
Private Over Public: Reach out directly. A calm, one-on-one conversation almost always diffuses the situation faster than a back-and-forth in the comments section. Plus, it saves you from becoming the subject of a local Facebook mom group’s “receipts.”
Empathy as a Weapon: Remember, this isn’t really about you. It’s about a parent who’s wrapped their entire self-worth in their kid’s performance on the field. Start the conversation by acknowledging their feelings. Something like, “I understand how much you care about your child’s success, and I’d love to talk about how we can work together to help them grow.”
Set the Ground Rules Early: The best time to handle a social media spat is before it happens. In your preseason meeting, establish a policy: concerns about playing time or coaching decisions should be addressed directly with you, not in the comment section of your team’s Facebook page. When someone inevitably breaks that rule, you can point back to it as a baseline.
The Bigger Picture: Changing the Culture
Let’s be honest—this isn’t just about one rogue Facebook post. It’s about creating an environment where kids can learn the value of effort, teamwork, and sometimes, failure. Playing time is earned, not tweeted about. By staying calm and focused, you model the kind of resilience you want your players to have when they face challenges—on or off the field.
Parents will always be a part of the equation, and some will be easier to manage than others. But if you stay clear-headed and committed to your players, you can weather even the most heated online firestorm. Who knows? You might even teach a few parents a thing or two about sportsmanship along the way.
Coaching lacrosse, like life, is about strategy. Handle the parents like you handle the opposing team—anticipate their moves, adapt, and keep your eyes on the goal. Just maybe don’t give them your Snapchat.
