To Helmet or Not to Helmet: The Hilarious Dilemma of Women’s Lacrosse

Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed lacrosse enthusiasts, and helmet skeptics alike—let's discuss a pressing issue in women's sports. It’s time to talk helmets in women’s lacrosse. Yes, helmets. As in those big, padded, confidence-smothering bowls that sit atop your head, supposedly to protect your brain but often just used as a convenient snack-holder for your teammates on the sidelines. And why not? You’d need a snack too if you had to wear one.

First Things First: Why the Heck Don’t We Already Wear Helmets?

Picture this: it’s 1908. Or maybe 2008—it doesn’t really matter because either way, the mindset about women's lacrosse hasn't changed. Someone, likely a man, declares, "Women’s lacrosse doesn’t need helmets! Women don’t play aggressively! It’s a different game entirely!” Cue the collective gasp from every woman who’s ever taken a well-aimed elbow to the face while defending the goal. It’s true; traditionally, the women’s game has supposedly been a “gentler” sport, where finesse outweighs force and a smile at the end is mandatory. If women wanted to get their heads knocked about, they’d simply have joined rugby, thank you very much.

But this is lacrosse. And the assumption that women’s heads are somehow less inclined to meet forcefully with a stick, ball, or the occasional bony knee defies all real-world evidence. It’s not a question of if you’ll get whacked in the head, but when. And if you’re on defense, it’s probably sooner rather than later.

The Argument Against Helmets: Tradition or Stubbornness?

The traditionalist view is straightforward: women don’t need helmets because women’s lacrosse is just different. And it is true that women’s lacrosse does have a more nuanced rulebook about contact. Unlike the men’s game, which sometimes feels like a free-for-all, women’s lacrosse forbids most body-checking. Women are expected to approach their opponents with the delicacy of a butterfly landing on a flower. But the truth, as every female player knows, is that this flower sometimes has thorns. Big, prickly, helmet-worthy thorns.

In practice, “no-contact” rules in women’s lacrosse simply mean “don’t do it while the refs are watching.” After all, in a heated game, is there really time to consider the logistics of holding your ground while a determined midfielder bears down on you at the speed of sound? In that moment, all you’re thinking is, “Please don’t knock me out cold.” Or, if you’re like me, maybe you’re thinking, “I wonder if they’ll give me extra credit for self-restraint if I don’t swing this stick at her.”

The counterpoint to all this—practically an epiphany—could be that wearing a helmet might allow players to relax and focus on playing. Without the fear of concussions hanging over their heads, they might, dare I say, play better?

So… Why Wear a Helmet, Anyway?

Let's be clear: the concept of women wearing helmets in lacrosse is not some “barbaric overreaction.” It’s simply a logical step in the evolution of a fast, furious sport. Studies show that concussions are not uncommon in women’s lacrosse, and in fact, the rate of head injuries is disturbingly close to that in men’s lacrosse. That’s right, the only real difference is that the men are armored up like gladiators, while the women are left to fend for themselves, protected by nothing more than their own heroic denial of reality.

Still, there’s something a bit unnerving about these padded, clunky contraptions when placed on female athletes’ heads. Imagine the collective horror when lacrosse players first beheld those helmets designed for women—a curious mix of hockey gear and Space Age invention, not designed with beauty, grace, or practicality in mind.

But maybe there’s a better way to view them. Helmets could become a statement. Maybe we don’t just wear them, but we bedazzle them. Paint them in colors rivaling a tropical sunset. Imagine striding onto the field with a headpiece that says, “I’m here to play, and I’m here to keep my brain intact.”

What Would I Say?

Now, if there’s anything I have learned, it’s that we often misunderstand even the most obvious things about life—like the risks of using your head to play lacrosse without a helmet. I might suggest that the addition of helmets would usher in a new age of sports enlightenment: women finally allowed to smash, sprint, and defend without risking quite as many brain cells. Or, perhaps I’d simply observe that it’s laughably absurd to even debate helmets when one high-velocity ball to the forehead would resolve the discussion for good. And he’d be right on both counts.

In short, women's lacrosse helmets might not be the sleekest addition to the sport, but they’re a smart one. And for the first brave players who embrace the change, I salute you! Wear your helmets proudly, like the bold pioneers you are. And remember: even if helmets do seem a tad silly now, a face full of lacrosse stick is likely to feel a lot sillier.